Smile

Miss my own bed, my own room, my own smell, my own fan speed, and most of all my laptop :(((((( upset maxxxx. Not saying it ain’t nice like this, but I just prefer it my own.

I feel really hurt.

Sometimes it’s just society that makes you wanna be perfect, it’s kinda sad.

what does it mean when a guy asks you out for movies and dinners, later to not follow through? suddenly he just stops texting, and then he stops replying, and he begins avoiding… why? 

have you ever wondered how we might have been? cause I did, ever.

Hi world. Haven’t been at this space for a very long time since. Kinda miss ranting to nobody in particular. Now seems like a good time.

So what’s up with my life. Let’s see. To be honest, nothing much. I’ve been having so much fun at hall (sometimes I feel, too much) but what do I truly take away eventually from all these fun? Nothing. Because I don’t remember anything as of late. Sigh. What’s this. Everything seems like they haven’t happened at all. Friends have been made, yes, but are these really true friends or superficial friends you have to smile to every morning (or afternoon) when you get out of bed and see them?

Sometimes it might be better that I stay home instead isn’t it.

I mean, it’s not that I don’t treat them as my real friends, but think about it, how much can I really trust them with my heartfelt emotions? Actually, to be painfully honest, absolutely nothing. These people know nothing of my background, nothing of my family, and nothing about me. They just presume I’m a crazy girl who laughs to herself, presume I’m someone who’s just nice to everyone. But do they know, I’m actually not who I seem to be..? Just like how they may not be who they seem to be…….. Right now I actually have some names up my mind O_O

Oh wells.

Let me talk about it sometime else. It’s exams soon omg.

What happens from here

Okay. What happens from here really scares me. I don’t know what’s to come or what to expect in the months to come, or even anything out of this. 

I don’t know how and what to act as well. I’m really lost like a sheep. Sometimes I feel I can have greater knowledge as to how to handle these problems at all. 

I want to entrust everything to the Lord, but He might not be happy with me now because I have been a bad child. But Lord please help me to be faithful to you, and understand my concerns as to my absence in CGs. 

I feel apologetic and guilty for lying but what am I to do? Lord please help me to do stuff in your godly ways and not of human nature. 

Ever felt extremely disappointed?

Well, I did.

Nothing is going well.